Childhood tantrums are a test for parents. There are no parents who would not shout, curse and punish a child during his tantrum. These tips will help you better understand your child and deal with hysteria competently. Adults forget how difficult it is to be a child. Everything is big and important in childhood. What seems to be a trifle for an adult, for a baby it is a universal chagrin, which leads to a strong emotional outburst.
Catching calm. Violent crying from a child is often accompanied by uncontrollable behavior. A rare parent can safely observe such a picture. To cope with a child’s tantrum, an adult must maintain emotional stability. If you cannot calm your emotions, you will not help your child understand and experience their feelings. Therefore, first of all, learn to look at such situations philosophically.
We sit down on the level with the child. Did you manage to calm yourself down? Then sit down. Go down one level with the child, sit down, bend over, look in the eyes. Usually parents do it instinctively. However, there are times when an adult hangs like a kite and begins to scold the baby. This is unacceptable. It is important to sympathize with the baby, to speak the emotions out loud, for example: “I understand you are upset because we are leaving the playground”. Or, if the tantrum in the store: “I understand, you want this toy …” The child will enter into a dialogue, and this will be the first step out of the tantrum.
Hug. In psychology, there is the concept of “containment”, i.e. the ability of an adult to accommodate the feelings of the baby, to become an emotional “container”. In this technique, hugs are important. You cover the child with warmth and care, give the opportunity to cry, get angry, offended. If the baby is told instead, “Stop it! Don’t cry! ”- then he remains in stress, which does not go anywhere. Crying is a way to relieve nervous tension. You not only sympathize with him, but also continue to love, and it is very important for the child to know this, because children very often associate any negative, any negative reaction of parents with the fact that they have stopped loving. Hug the baby, pat on the head. Let it cry on your chest.
Distracting. Often this method should not be used, as the child must understand what is happening to him and why he is upset. Distraction works well for toddlers under three years old, they are quickly forgotten. “Look what car”, “Look, the plane is flying,” and the baby no longer remembers why he was crying.
We cry for five minutes. Emotions cannot be blocked. We let the child throw them out, but set a time frame: “You will cry for five (two, three) minutes, and then we will talk.” The kid will understand that his feelings are accepted and shared. And everyone will have time to tune in to the conversation – the child will calm down, you will not lose his temper.
Here you can’t, but there you can. A similar method for delimiting the framework, only not temporary, but territorial. You say to your child: “Here, in the store, you cannot cry, there are many people here, but there, on the street, you can. Let’s go out and you will cry. ” Thus, you accept his actions, but take a break. When you leave the store, the crying may not even start.
Show focus. Remember that distraction is best in an emergency. If you are tired and you cannot speak emotions. If you are in a crowded place and you need to stop the tantrum quickly. Think of any trick. Children are always delighted with them. Construct a magic wand, conjure a smile, and turn tears into birds.
Demonstrate to your child how tears are magically removed: “Do you already want to calm down, but tears are still falling? I will help you!”. For the focus itself, improvised materials are perfect – a diaper or a scarf. You throw some of this on a crumb, cast spells, and – voila – he no longer cries!
Gingerbread? Or a cucumber, or a tomato, or a sandwich, whatever, just to keep your mouth busy with something other than crying. Great alternative for food-loving kids. And the question itself in this way may be so unexpected that the baby will forget that he recently cried.
Draw sadness. Describe the problem first. Ask the child leading questions: “Is your sadness big or small?”, “What color is it?” Is it more serious than the one when you wanted a computer for the New Year, but got table hockey? ” Think in abstract terms, fantasize. Then draw the drawing together. Be sure to ask your baby how you can solve the problem, whether you can make it smaller. Children are carried away by this method, and they are actively involved in the dialogue.
We wash. Water perfectly relieves stress and soothes (and not only children). Drink water with your child, wash yourself.
We breathe. Perform breathing exercises together: deep inhale – exhale. Make it funny: snort like a hedgehog, breathe like a dog. Both fun and useful.
Every child is different. Find ways that are right for you and your baby. Remember that hysteria is one of the stages of personality formation and interaction with the outside world. This is just a stage that must be lived through gently and least traumatic for the child’s psyche.