Even the most wonderful person has a quality that can be annoying and displeasing. To prevent minor flaws from ruining the relationship, learn to get along with them. At least once in their life, women say: “I can change him.” This is a common misconception. Of course, everyone has flaws, but you are unlikely to be able to reshape a man so that he becomes fully consistent with the idea of an ideal partner. There is a list of seven qualities that you shouldn’t try to change in the second half.
- BAD HABITS
Little things annoy you: he bites his nails or chews with his mouth open. Nothing to do about. Don’t waste time and energy trying to rid your man of bad habits. They are unlikely to completely disappear.
- SENSE OF STYLE
You can choose clothes for a man that you like, but his sense of style will not change. If you go shopping with him and pick things up to your liking, it will work in the early stages of the relationship. But the effect won’t last forever. Your other half will dress as usual. It doesn’t matter if you like it or not.
- RELIGIOUS VIEWS
An attempt to change religious beliefs is doomed to failure and generally dangerous. Don’t question your belief in God or lack thereof. The most you can do is change the frequency with which he attends church, but you can’t do more.
- FAMILY RELATIONSHIP
It seems to you that you know the family of the chosen one well. You will not be able to change the relationship between a man and his parents. It doesn’t matter what you want: to make their relationship closer and warmer, or, conversely, to cut the umbilical cord. You will fail.
You cannot change the way a person perceives the world and sets priorities. A person’s values are an important part of his personality. He cannot change or revise values because you disagree with them. If disagreements and contradictions are too strong to come to terms with them, it is better to part.
- COMMUNICATION STYLE
You can try to improve communication between you, but most likely you will have to adapt and come to terms with your partner’s communication style. If you need to communicate constantly and your partner wants to talk less often, learn to find compromises. Don’t force him to communicate with you against his will.
The best part of a relationship is learning new things together. But a man may have hobbies that you don’t like. Maybe you hate watching football or going to parties. If you want your interests to be appreciated and respected, treat his interests the same way. Don’t try to change them and force them to give up what they like.
How to deal with your partner’s flaws
Everyone carries within themselves the idea of an ideal partner. It is made up of parental images, characteristics of a favorite movie hero, memories of first love and ideals that are promoted by the media and the Internet. The embodiment of all the desired characteristics in one real man is impossible.
You can wait as long as you like for the perfect companion, but the traits of a real person with whom you have to live will differ from your expectations. In the same way, you yourself are not at all ideal for your man. Couples in which partners deliberately adjust behavior and expectations to become closer to each other will be able to live happily.
The convergence process can be divided into four stages:
- Before entering into a relationship, analyze the irritating characteristics of your partner. Divide them into two groups. The first is the qualities that he can theoretically change for you. In the second group, there will remain what he cannot change. This includes religious beliefs, ideas about the role of women in the family, temperament, appearance. If you are not ready to accept this, there is no point in continuing the relationship.
- The next category of features that can cause conflict are behaviors and habits that you don’t understand. Passion for football, reading books, collecting stamps, passion for singing can be rejected. The best quality to overcome this is curiosity. Take an interest in each other’s hobbies and find new common interests.
- Bargain, negotiate, make mutual concessions. Don’t push and manipulate. Be open about your desires and expectations. If you cannot agree on your own and the conflict does not subside, contact a psychotherapist.
- Create new family habits and traditions that will delight both. Try what you haven’t experienced before. Keep your personal space: hobbies, friends, time and activities just for yourself. You and the family remain an individual.